It is amazing to think how much things have changed in the last year. When I started writing in this notepad, I was 28 years old. I was camped out in a concrete fortress in the south side of Chicago with my brothers, amazed at how far they had come, both creatively and physically since our first time in that studio in 2010. I was looking forward to a full summer of festivals, parties, and living the dream. Something was changing inside me, though. I could feel the end drawing closer, my of days living that life were numbered, and I looked forward to making a life with my love, Brooke. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to be with her.
Today, one year later, I sit on my mom's couch in my mom's living room in my mom's house. The one thing I have now that I didn't have a year ago is a perspective on my own life. I'm working for me now, following my dreams, trying to bring them to fruition. It's not glamorous here, it is not fun. I can not wait to get out of this place. Funny, I never had these feelings towards this place while I was growing up. My other life has shown me the numerous possibilities that are waiting out there. The good thing about being up here is the lack of distraction. I have time to reflect. I have peace and quiet allowing me to focus. I am able to to rediscover myself, get to the core and start over. I now know where I want to end up and I can see the path laid before me.
This next chapter will not be easy, just the opposite. It will require all the patience, persistence, creativity and ingenuity that I can muster. I am not afraid, I welcome the challenge with open arms. Though there will be times when I feel like I will not be able to go on, I will remember perspective and I will choose to continue. Things will always seem the most hopeless in the midst of them, but I must push through to the end. Giving up is no longer an option.
It is time I break out of my cocoon and emerge into this world with my full potential.
That's what moving to Fort Myers has done for me. Best decision ever. Plenty of me time.
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